There’s a dragon on my doorstep,
He’s mating with my car.
If my Mercedes ends up pregnant,
He better not stray far.
I’ve got my shotgun loaded,
This dragon will propose.
I won’t have my grandchildren,
Grow up in a broken home.
I’ll blow that dragon’s wings off,
I’ll stake him to the ground!
By gosh, he’ll marry my Mercedes,
Or I swear I’ll hunt him down!
Why, that scaly rapscallion,
No sooner done than gone!
He’s flown away whilst I mused
Of grandchildren playing on the lawn!
The heartless brute,
The cad!
Abusing my Mercedes,
Oh, that makes me mad!
I’ll skin him for the leather,
I’ll flay him for the sport!
I’ll find his hidden cavern,
And demand child support!
But wait, what’s this? Another?
Another dragon on my stoop?
My Mercedes is a hussy!
She’s played me for a dupe!
Yes, I see them now,
Making circles in the sky.
Dragons! Dragons! Dragons!
Just waiting for a try!
I’ll rip her slutty wheels off,
I’ll put her up on blocks!
I’ll cancel her insurance,
And park her at the docks!
I’ll replace her posh interior
With leopard printed Pleather!
I’ll put her into storage
And leave her there forever!
Argh! Another dragon!
My Mercedes honks her horn!
I never would have thought
My car would be in porn.
Oh, what shall I do?
The neighbor’s are sure to see.
It’ll be all over the internet
By twenty-five to three.
I guess it’s up to me…
Local author George Sigmund, well known for his colorful children’s stories which blend old-fashioned fairy tales with modern and futuristic themes, was arrested today after blowing up a car in the parking lot of the downtown night club, The Dragon’s Den. Mr. Fennig reportedly threatened numerous club-goers with a shotgun while ranting about exploitation of innocent machinery by reptilian pimps…
In other news, the porn world is grieving today over the death of legendary star, Mercedes Bends. Her body was found late last night by a janitor cleaning the set of her latest film, “The Beast In Me.” Authorities have stated it appears to be a suicide, though they have yet to rule out the possibility of foulplay.
Meanwhile, feminist groups across the country are rallying behind a new, masked leader, one who has taken the Mercedes automobile symbol as her logo. Though she has so far managed to remain anonymous, she referred to the tragic death of Ms. Bends in a speech given at a public rally earlier today, claiming, “This sad event vindicates my belief that women in the porn industry are more likely to die young…”
She went on to call for militant action against the draconic film-makers who prey on the low self-esteem of young women and make these sorts of tragedies possible…
Dragon Slayer
Sunderheart
Standing on the shaman’s crossing with one foot in the forest
My old self locked within, one more whisper in the chorus
Of dappled shade, soft loam and moss
Of tickling breeze, and kin we’ve lost
Of fallen trees along the road
A dead grey thing they force to grow
But a soldier’s duty must be done
War must be ended, once begun
The dancers and the pestilence
The comrades we have laid to rest
Because of them!
Because of us?
Who speaks the truth?
Who can I trust?
Standing on the fearsome thing that pierces the forest’s heart
My old self now ascendant, no idea where to start
The ancestors and the flowing sap
The blue-black berries and mushroom caps
The sword and whip and musket lead
Those who are dying, those who are dead
The growing grey or the shrinking green?
The fireflies or the kings and the queens?
The scholars and schools?
The songs a lost people sing?
My insincts?
Or my upbringing?
Inspired by Saturday Scribes and Robin Hobb’s Soldier Son trilogy.
Captivity
Apparently my errant queen
Is working murky sorcery
I hanker for her as she deftly weaves
A clever net of charms o’er me
I hope she never sets me free
From love’s sweet captivity
Don’t Bank On It
Loneliness shines with a withering ray
Rapidly aging me until I obey
Now I must work twice as hard as I play
Or suffer karma’s balance at the end of the day
Fever Dream.
This morning as I broke brown eggs to break my fast
White flecks of shell cut into the palm of my hand.
My red blood sizzled black as it hit the pan,
Reminding me of you:
Incubating death;
Taking poison to save your life.
I looked out the window -
A rabid dog was grooming itself on the front lawn,
Gnawing at its private parts
Even as it was foaming at the mouth;
The bizarre vanity of the doomed.
I blink and the image is gone.
Only a nightmare.
Just another nightmare
Under the bright yellow sun.
The Suddenness of Long Anticipated Events
It is impossible to describe this feeling inside.
I’ve tried and tried, but the correct words are hiding,
Biding their time like I’ve been biding my time -
And now the time has come;
She steps into the air.
I begin running. Though I knew it was coming,
I feel so unprepared. I feel so freaky scared.
She dares.
I must dare.
Shining Through
Collecting little bits of you
Here and there, a piece or two
Collecting little bits of you
Your light is shining through
Yesterday I found your smile
I put it on, wore it a while
Yesterday when I found your smile
I gave it to a child
Today I found your laugh
It seemed to fit so I clapped my hands
Today when I found your laugh
I gave it to a man
Tomorrow I’ll find your happiness
I’ll keep a bit, I must confess
Tomorrow I’ll find your happiness
But I’ll give away the rest
Collecting little bits of you
Here and there, a piece or two
Collecting little bits of you
Your light is shining through
Finding My Way
In a dark place all alone
I take a small step turn for home
And in this motion lose my way
I recognize it but it’s not the same
So I wander through the maze
Until I find a familiar face
And looking deeply in her eyes
I finally come to realize
Exactly how I went astray
Mistaking my home for a place
O, What Shall I Name You?
Drifting on an ocean
On waves of emotion
I met a man upon the strand
Where the water meets the sand
He left the shore to be with me
Gave up his life in the deadly sea
Of love
Of love
In the deadly sea of love
To my shame, I didn’t ask
He gave no name, just did his task
Now I carry his unborn child
It will grow up fatherless, wild
In the empty sea
Of love
Of love
In the empty sea of love
O, what shall I name you, my unborn child
When from my womb you’re spilt?
O, what shall I name you, my unborn child?
I think I shall name you Guilt.
A Curious Adventure
Through the ring of mushrooms
Past the isolated grove
We waited on a mossy log
Til into view it hove
Twas unnerving big, to say the least
Twas brilliantly strange
The thing on the horizon, resting
As the light began to change
When the sun slipped from the sky
To paint the monster’s flank
Like a mountain, pink and white
We tipped our skins and drank
The synergy of alcohol
Inside our sinners’ hearts
Soon infused us with a bravery
Beyond our meager parts
And we rose upon our staggered hooves
To climb that walking cliff
Old Woadkin proffered a pouch of pepper
Said, “‘ere, Guv’, ‘ave a sniff.”
It braced my nerves, it made me sneeze
The others had a laugh
And getting on about midnight, we
Had crested the creature’s calf
There upon its knee, we stood
Feeling half insane
When it cracked an eye and looked at us
With immense godlike disdain
So great, in fact, that Murkle jumped
And tumbled down its shin
And ran off through the darkling wood
To his crooked shanty and his gin
Well, I would not be daunted
And I left ol’ Woad behind
And as the big feller watched
I gracelessly onward climbed
I scaled thigh, I clambered hip
I traversed its rocky gut
I laddered up its ribs like rungs
I was exhausted, but
I clung to craggy collarbone
I shrugged onto its shoulders
I grappled my way up to its jaw
And over warts like boulders
And when I reached its cavernous ear
I tumbled deep inside
And I began to build my home
Inside the giant’s mind
It’s drafty, and there’s lots of dust
But I can promise you
There’s lots of room for memories
And you just can’t beat the view
